ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
