I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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