I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
