even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
