His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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