If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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