what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
