That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
