What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
