I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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