Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
