Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
