I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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