Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
