After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
