he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
