So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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