Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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