someone get that fucking seahorse.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
