last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
