There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
