Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
