The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
