So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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