I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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