I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
how drunk are you?
Several
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize