I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
