it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
