I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can I color on your dick again?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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