Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
