you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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