ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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