there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
