Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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