he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
