Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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