Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
