her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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