So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
