You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
