were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
