You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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