Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
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