We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
