he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
