can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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