If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
