his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
