i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize