Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
