I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
