You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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