ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
being pregnant is like rehab
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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