last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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