Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
