And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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