Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize