Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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