I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Someone came in the potted fern
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
