Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
