There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
