like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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