Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
