I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize