He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
