I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
